The Good Banter Thread

HARO

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Was talking to a friend yesterday, who has six adopted children. Seems his 4-year old took off all his clothes, got a green magic marker, and drew all over his entire body! Then he proudly went to his mom and told her "Look, mommy... tattoos."
A week before, several of the kids were given little sponge 'pills' that you put in warm water, and they turn into dinosaurs. After watching his brother drop the 'pill' into the warm water, this little radical popped his pill into his mouth and quickly washed it down with the water! :banana: The other five kids are perfectly normal!!
John
 
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HARO said:
Was talking to a friend yesterday, who has six adopted children. Seems his 4-year old took off all his clothes, got a green magic marker, and drew all over his entire body! Then he proudly went to his mom and told her "Look, mommy... tattoos."
A week before, several of the kids were given little sponge 'pills' that you put in warm water, and they turn into dinosaurs. After watching his brother drop the 'pill' into the warm water, this little radical popped his pill into his mouth and quickly washed it down with the water! :banana: The other five kids are perfectly normal!!
John
Ohhhh how I do not miss those days! Youngest will be 18 in June ... the girls were both easy when little well, aside from covering everything in my mascara, and the youngest had to brush her teeth in the tadpole kit I had gotten them ... (they made up for it when they hit their teens)... My son on the otherhand never ate anything but I can tell you hubby got tired of "plumbing issues" ... First it was the ROCKS ... hubby had always collected rocks, and our son took after his dad ... except he had to wash his in the SWIRLING toilet bowl water ... that toilet got a lot of new wax rings ... then came the match box cars and the central vac plumbing ... it was sooo cool to open the "garage door" and watch the cars get sucked in .... then about 12, he was into his "bombs" and lit his younger sisters shoes on fire (with her in them) ... Can someone please tell me what a NORMAL kid is??? LOL.
 
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Big Lou said:
Stablized our 23 year old wooden glider so it will hopefully last a few more years. ( happy glider man smile )
I would love to be sitting in a glider right now ... I am supposed to be working on the computer (not reading/posting here LOL).
 

sissy

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I built a glider 3 years ago and think the most expensive part was the gilder metal arms to make it glide .Same way with the swing metal chains and all the hooks cost a lot and I buy them at discount
 

koiguy1969

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62651_493073350746835_1327255129_n.jpg
 

j.w

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BAh Humbug.......go eat a dinosaur O'bimbo! Hey does Bullfrog have to pay taxes now that he moved to Mexico?
 

koiguy1969

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THIS IS A COPY AND PASTE FROM A F/B POSTING... WOW!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken Mc...Nuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true...
 
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wispfox said:
Ha! Clearly the child wanted to _eat_ a dinosaur!

Or something. DId anyone ask why he did that? I'm all curious as to his reasoning, now, since kid reasoning is often very interesting. :)
The answer is simple. It was there so he ate it! Pure kid logic. The same when my two grown children were toddlers. One was sitting peacefully on the floor watching TV while the second was standing back with a plastic cap over his hand. He looked at his fist inside the cup then looked at his sister sitting near him. So he hits her upside her head with the fist filled cup. Fist in cup + sister in range = round house to the side of her head. Again, pure kid logic.
 

sissy

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duct tape and a tree and my 2 sons .Younger son was bugging his brother out in the driveway when he was working on his car and older son got mad and kept saying stop . Then it got very silent out side and then there was yelling maaaaaaaa help . I look out the window and my younger son is duct taped to a tree in the yard .Most of a roll of tape wasted too .
 

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