The Good Banter Thread

[Big Lou]

"To see if it all turns out well you just have to live your life."

lp

 

[CountryEscape]

Someone posted on their FB that they got through to the new insurance website, looked at it, chose their insurance plan, THEN found out it would be $597/month, and $13,000 deductible!!! So, they "opted out". Later that day, they got an e-mail with all the threats if they don't make their monthly premium payments, taking driver's license, putting lien on house, taking tax refunds .... hey, we do all of that for non-payment of child support where I work! LOL I think this freaking "Obamacare" is going to be the ruining of this Country, if it's allowed to continue. Just saying ...

 

[j.w]

I think this is all a big misunderstanding w/ Obama care. I think he was texting on his phone and auto-correct messed up and when he tried to ask for help he wrote "head can't restore" and it came up "Health Care Reform" and now look where we are. Give the guy a break and get him help immediately

 

[Big Lou]

I recall thinking and saying "....will be so glad to finish school." In hindsight that was so naive. Every moment of life is akin to having a front row seat in class.

lp

 

[mtpond]

Totally agree with you CE!

 

[koiguy1969]

TELL CONGRESS AND THIS OBAMA ADMINISTRATION,

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
liberal journalist finds jesus.... http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct...jesus-follower-kirsten-powers.html?paging=off

 

[koiguy1969]

Who Knew??? THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU 1. Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, ...they ripen faster. 2. Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold! 3. Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking. 4. Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking. 5. To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up. 6. For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting. 7. Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic. 8. Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm! 9. Reheat Pizza Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works. 10. Easy Deviled Eggs Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up. 11. Expanding Frosting When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving. 12. Reheating refrigerated bread To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster. 13. Newspaper weeds away Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers. 14. Broken Glass Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily. 15. No More Mosquitoes Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away. 16. Squirrel Away! To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it. 17. Flexible vacuum To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings. 18. Reducing Static Cling Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... guess what! ... static is gone. 19. Measuring Cups Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out. (Or spray the measuring cup or spoon with Pam before using) 20. Foggy Windshield? Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth! 21. Re-opening envelopes If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily. 22. Conditioner Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair. 23. Goodbye Fruit Flies To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever! 24. Get Rid of Ants Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed! 25. Dryer Filter Even if you are very diligent about cleaning the lint filter in your dryer it still may be causing you a problem. If you use dryer sheets a waxy build up could be accumulating on the filter causing your dryer to over heat. The solution to this is to clean your filter with with a toothbrush and hot soapy water every 6 months.

 

[koiguy1969]

 

[Big Lou]

"Sometimes there is no thinking, no thought. Only a empty void in an ever active world."

lp

 

[koiguy1969]

Affordable Boat Act

The government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $24,000-$124,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, insurance, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only financially responsible and working people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a boat....

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, working taxpayers will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one, you will be fined until you purchase one or face imprisonment. For those that cannot afford one, they will get a free boat with a monthly check for all ownership costs listed above at taxpayer expense.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories, or a newer and more expensive boat. (Cash for Clunkers guidelines will be used).

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, special interest and major donors are also exempt.

If the government can force Americans to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else...

 

[Big Lou]

SIGNZ ZE PAPERS OLD MAN.

I cannot signz ze papers.

SIGNZ ZE PAPERS OLD MAN!

But I cannot signz ze papers.

WHY CAN YOU NOT SIGNZ THE PAPERS OLD MAN?

Because you have broken both of my handz.

 

[Big Lou]

Failed to mention that we are decluttering the interior one room at a time, closets, excess decor. Nothing is exempt. Over the weekend wifey gathered decades of old household business papers. After our light weight shredder died we considered having the mass of documents shredded by Office Depot but changed our mind when told the price was $9.99 per pound! We bought a professional office grade machine that works great.

 

[addy1]

burn baby burn, I just burn mine

 

[sissy]

Makes great mulch shredded for plants .I dig holes in my yard and bury the shredded stuff or add it to my veggie garden .

 

[addy1]

except I would need to buy a shredder, again.