A local woman wrote this story and had it on Facebook. For those who have battled cancer themselves, or been involved with family and friends, this is a "must read". It's long, but trust me, it's worth reading. Oh ... you might want to get a tissue. :razz:
Are you or a loved one in the midst of cancer treatments? For some reason God put it on my heart today to share the sheer joy and normalcy that has managed to find its way back into my life. On January 21, 2006, my world was completely blown apart- seemingly destroyed by cancer. Yet again it happened in December, 2008 when I found a lump in my breast. I was robbed of my joy, my routine, my security, and my certainty of a long, bright future with my hubby and kids. How those days sucked- so very scary and painful. The fear, the physical pain of surgeries, the grueling rounds of chemo, the feeling of waking up each morning in hopes that it was all a very bad dream- only to look in the mirror appalled at the bald, disfigured cancer patient looking back at me. I remember so clearly the pain and sadness I felt when watching my kids sleep, or holding them in my arms. They were only ONE and THREE- Evan just learning to take his first steps, and Ellie hadn't even started preschool. I felt so much guilt for putting my husband through this. He is a perfectly healthy, handsome, gifted young man, who should be enjoying these prime years of his life with a wife who is equally qualified and can provide him with the life of normalcy he deserves. He doesn't deserve to be spending his days in the cancer center, of all places... surrounded by men and women 50 years our seniors- the only young man here in this sea of depression and gloom. He shouldn't have to sit anxiously in the radiology waiting room of the hospital, aside his bald, hospital gown clad wife, waiting for a scan to determine whether he will become a widower all too young, and raise his children alone.
UGH...those memories are so fresh and so raw. Yet they are so far away.
I have to tell you- for the sake of those who are currently living this nightmare- that today, at this very moment, my heart and my spirit are as bright as the sun shining through my windows! While cancer will forever be a part of our lives... That big, stupid "C" word has managed to slip further and further from the forefront of my mind. Now... I'm all too aware that at any moment, it could come charging back in and turn the lives of my sweet family upside down. BUT- You have to know that with every day, every week, every month that passes... Cancer gets a TEENY bit further from my mind, and happiness and living become a TEENY bit more present. It becomes easier and easier to let go of the worry. At some point, I found myself getting busy with the living, and jumping head first back into being a wife and a mom.
This weekend. Jeff and I made the decision to forego family Easter celebrations to spend our Easter at "the woods"... Just the four of us. I wasn't completely sold on the idea of missing my family or his on Easter Day- the kids missing their traditional Easter egg hunts, not seeing my Dad on what would have been my Mom's 76th birthday. But if having had cancer had taught me anything, it's that you have to grab those opportunities to make memories when they're available, and that often times means following your heart and simply jumping at the chance to do something fun. IF YOU TAKE NOTHING ELSE FROM THIS POST... REMEMBER THAT!!!!!!!
So you probably already know from facebook that I was with Evan in the blind/tent when he shot his first turkey on Easter morning. Jeff had taken Ellie in town for lunch, and there was no one in that turkey blind but me, my eight year old son, and God. You see- moments before that turkey showed up, Evan asked me to pray with him. He told me that he wasn't leaving that turkey blind until he had a turkey... And considering it was the FIRST turkey hunt for either of us, we were both pretty certain there would need to be some Devine intervention involved. We prayed for a safe hunt, we prayed for wonderful memories to be made during our weekend at the woods. We thanked God for giving us this ground on which we can harvest animals and make sweet memories together. Most of all we thanked God for giving us His son Jesus so that all of this could be possible. Oh... And we asked God to please bring us a turkey.
You've probably seen the picture- you know how the story goes. I'd give anything to have had that hunt on video- it went down exactly like it should have, according to the 15,850 episodes I've been forced to watch on the Hunting Chanel.
Dad wasn't even there to help us. Mom called the bird in from wherever he seemingly dropped out of the sky... and Evan meticulously picked up his gun, took it off safe, patiently waited for the right moment, and shot his bird all by himself. Neither one of us knew whether to scream or laugh or cry- so we did all those things at the same time. My baby has never hugged me so tightly as he did at that moment. My point in all this being- I don't know that I've ever felt so alive as I did in that very moment. The unbridled joy and raw emotion that came from both Evan and me when we saw what we had just accomplished together was beyond words. I've never been so grateful for God having taken me exactly down the path He has chosen. It all came full circle for me this weekend.
I've found my joy back. When in the darkest of days, I never knew if "happy" would be possible again, if someone could have shown me a magic ball with a future that was so uncertain... This is exactly the picture I really could have benefited from seeing.
If you know someone going through treatment for cancer- someone who is in the trenches of the fight of their life... please do me a favor and tell them that this battle that seems nearly impossible at this moment, is really a small price to pay for the lifetime of joy they have ahead of them.
Oh- and the first thing Evan did when he climbed out of the tent... He raised his hand to God and said "thank YOU".
