The Good Banter Thread

[addy1]

God
said, "Adam, I
want you to do
something for
Me."

Adam
said, "Gladly,
Lord, what do You
want me to do?"

God
said, "Go down
into that
valley."​

Adam said, "What's
a valley?"

God explained it to him.​

Then God said,
"Cross the
river."

Adam said, "What's a
river?"

God explained that
to him, and then said,
"Go over to the
hill....."

Adam said,​

"What is a
hill?"


So, God explained to
Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, "On
the
other side of the
hill you will find a
cave."


Adam said, 'What's a
cave?'

After God explained,
He
said, "In the cave
you will find a woman."


Adam said, "What's a
woman?'

So God explained
that to him, too.
Then, God said, 'I
want you
to
reproduce."

Adam said, "How do
I do
that?"

God first said (under
His breath), "Geez....."

And then,
just like everything else, God explained that to
Adam, as
well.

So, Adam goes down
into
the valley,

across the river, and
over the hill,
into the
cave, and finds the
woman.

Then, in
about five minutes, he was back.

God,
His patience
wearing thin, said
angrily, "What is
it
now?"

And Adam said....


*

*




*

*


*

*

*

"What's a
headache?"​

 

[HARO]

Laughed so hard the tears ran down my leg!!!!!
John

 

[addy1]

Laughed so hard the tears ran down my leg!!!!!
John

lol sure it was tears? made me laugh too!

 

[sissy]

It was not tears for sure if it ran down his leg .You need depends :razz:

Laughed so hard the tears ran down my leg!!!!!
John

 

[CountryEscape]

OMG, that was a good one, Addy, and loved the Redneck pick up lines, too!
Since I've lived in the country by myself, I have had NO trick or treaters! My neighbors now have 2 older girls, past trick or treating. Where I used to live, no kids came by. Now, when I was married, we lived in the country. I took my kids to all the neighbors and then to G'ma and G'pa's houses. They got more candy at 12 houses than if they had gone door to door in town. In the country, very few kids show up, so those people have tons of candy! I always bought 3-4 bags, to have a variety, and then ate the rest. LOL Now, I don't even buy any. I don't need it, and no one ever shows up! I have M & M's in the freezer. LOL Keeps them fresher, and I could bag them up. LOL And, Addy, your driveway sounds scary to me, too! Sissy, yours is to steep!

 

[CountryEscape]

OK, I've seen these red fuzzy ant looking things before, and as a kid, we always said they were the "queen" ants! This one was between 3/4 and 1" long.

So, I looked them up! Turns out they are called some big long name, but their common name is a red velvet ant or "cow killer" and they are not ants, but rather wasps. The females lack wings, which makes them look like ants. The reason they are called cow killer, is that the saying goes, "the sting is strong enough to kill a cow", but that's not really the case, it just hurt! I'm sure glad I used a bucket and she obliged and climbed in for me to take her picture. So, now you know!

 

[j.w]

Never seen one of those "cow killer" wasps here and don't want to feel it's wrath ever! Kind of pretty tho.

 

[sissy]

I have seen them here

 

[sissy]

hey red wine has another plus it blocks sun damage darn gotta buy a case :razz:

 

[addy1]

hey red wine has another plus it blocks sun damage darn gotta buy a case :razz:

or two or three

 

[callingcolleen1]

Ya, but I may have had one glass too many last night by pond cause now I'm having a hard time walking up and getting ready for work! Made a nice fire last night and played by the pond till 1130! Going to have a nap for sure after work today! Work on Sunday sucks, but its just a short day today so that's OK

 

[CountryEscape]

I have never been able to get into the habit of a nap. I WANT to take a nap at times, but never can fall asleep. Guess just closing my eyes for 10-15 minutes is all my body needs. I know there will come a time, though ..... I had a class of "Pretty In Pink" wine last night while reading book before bed. Yummy! Last glass from that bottle, so must remember to put next bottle in fridge. You red wine drinkers drink it room temp, though, right? I only like sweet/semi-sweet wines, and I think reds are more often the dryer types. Guess I'm a "foo-foo" wine drinker, too. LOL Don't care for beer, rather have a mixed drink.

 

[sissy]

I like red wine chilled and really don't care for it room temp ,but some say it taste better room temp.

 

[addy1]

merlot room the rest chilled

 

[CountryEscape]

Check out these pics, my GPF friends! Tonight, as I was reading on my favorite forum .... HERE .... my electricity went out. Waited the mandatory 10 seconds, nothing. Waited another 30 seconds, still nothing. Hmm ... went outside, neighbor is calling me. "Look toward my house, is that electric pole on fire?" Sure enough! About 4 poles down from my house, the electric pole was on fire at the top! Please forgive the blurry pics, I'm using my old camera, which no longer zooms, but my good camera is "in the shop" hopefully getting repaired!

Look closely at that second pic. See the wires? That the top and bottom wires, about 2" from each other. The guy said if they had touched, it would have been a huge poof of an explosion, and more than our block would have been without power!
The electric company guys got up to the top of the pole and used a chain saw to cut off the top section.

The grass at the base of the pole had been sprayed to kill the grass, for mowing easier by the township tractors, so it scorched with the burning embers that were continually falling from the burning pole.

This is the electric company guy getting ready to put an arm "brace" up there to hole the top wire away from the pole until it can be repaired permanently.

And, last but not least, here is the culprit ... a snake, or what's left of him.

Seems this is a common occurrence, chicken hawks catch a snake, land on the top of the poles, snake is dangling, hits the wire and the hawk drops it. If they lay across the wire, they short it out and cause the fire. The guy said they are using green poles, and they burn and burn. He said they are having problems with people burning leaves up against them, and they will burn clear through at the bottom, not burn up the pole, but burn through the pole!
Now, I have to say, Someone was watching out for us this night! If this fire had occurred 3 weeks ago, before we started getting rain again, this would have been disastrous! The beans would have been browner, and the field could have erupted in flames very quickly. Or, worse, if the pole was across the road tonight, the corn field there is very brown and dry. Even though we had rain this morning, it could easily have caught on the upper leaves, and a little wind carried it across the field. Three weeks ago, nothing would have stopped it had it landed on the corn field! Thank you, Lord, for keeping us all safe.
I needed a little excitement in my life, so if this is it, so be it! LOL