That guy doesn't know what he is talkIng about. 12/3 is fine. The neutral thing is a load of crap. The neutral carries the same load no matter what. If it was bad the national electric code wouldn't approve of it. EVERYTHING that is wired for 220V has one neutral. Your bare copper wire is a neutral as well. They both connect to the same place in the Panel.
This is not really accurate. The only time you share a neutral is if you are running both phases on the hots- IE using a dual breaker. If you run 12-3 and hook up the red and black wires to the same phase, you will indeed overload your neutral.
Your bare copper wire is not another neutral, it is a safety ground.
Pretty good explanation of split wiring here-
http://inspectapedia.com/electric/multiwir.htm
Romex is not typically rated to be put in conduit. I think it is because the insulation cannot withstand the temperatures that may be reached in a sealed environment, but I'm not sure about that one. Same reason there are fill ratios for given conduit sizes.
I'm an electrical engineer, not an electrician.... the codes are complicated, and sometimes counter-intuitive, but usually they are for a good reason- that being it is easy to kill someone with electricity. If you are not sure of what you are doing, seek professional help.