Had a light bulb moment, might be dim later....but

[cas]

I too just made the decision to get rid of my lilies. Too much work and different priorities. My thoughts are with you and your husband.

 

[addy1]

I couldn't get rid of, so set free. Love them too much. I quit grooming dead leaves off years ago.

Now quit grooming at all.

 

[j.w]

I couldn't get rid of, so set free. Love them too much. I quit grooming dead leaves off years ago.

Now quit grooming at all.

I wonder if I let mine go in my little frog pond will I need to throw fertilizer each year into the water as there is no fish in there to give them food? Will just throwing fert in hurt frogs or birds?

 

[GBBUDD]

I understand the dim latter right now shifting from night work back to days I just got use to nights. And company saying OK work into Saturday morning 6 am go home see you Monday at 6am to start days. Switch sleeping habits in 24 hours . Took the day off .

@Addy 1 just becareful my mother in-law bless her soul took care of her husband who became a quadropalegic and moved him in and out of bed and the shower , commode. She wrecked her own body. He was 260 pounds. And with hubby not realizing what he may be doing he could hurt you.

 

[addy1]

Thanks @GBBUDD I will bring in at home care first , if he sinks to the level of lifting, etc, which he will. then , most likely a care home.

These meetings I have been going to , I have gathered a lot of data about at home care groups, and care homes.

One thing I won't do is lose what is left of my time struggling to care for him. At this time, eats, drinks, bathroom ok. Memory beyond sucks, ground hog day, almost every minute. It is cyclic, one day as good as it can be, next day sucks

I have two good friends, one a neighbor, one lives in our above garage room, both help out be watching over him so I can leave.

60 a hour was one of the prices mentioned. For xx hours you need help.

Also cameras, alarms, etc.

 

[bagsmom]

Rather being doing thisView attachment 166019

I absolutely LOVE this picture!

 

[bagsmom]

I was feeling a little overwhelmed the other day. This summer was a wake-up call that my parents are officially old. They are far away. After being there for 3 weeks, I've been looking at my yard and ponds with new eyes. I am dang close to 60 and although I try to stay strong and healthy, I know our time is coming. THEN I look at what I've done to my yard over the years - basically taking a yard that I could pay someone to easily maintain - and turned it into something that takes constant maintenance. Operation Age In Place / Project Streamline the Yard is in the works. I have sort of adopted the "let the lilies go" philosophy too.
Life brings us some tough challenges, that is for sure. I am glad you have your beautiful ponds and wonderful pups to keep you at peace and keep you smiling!!!!

 

[addy1]

Lol we are aging gracefully! Not old! add 15 years you will catch up with me lol

I still maintain almost 4 acres and 11 ponds, but now only 2 lily pots in the 300 gallon pond, fantails only, May turn them loose also.

The lady I moved in loves yard work. She lives for free above our garage, her ss can't support her. she has been a great help. she is a weed wacking queen!

But my mind set, weeds get out of control, in winter all die! do over in spring.

And round up type stuff sure helps. we had a bumper crop of poison ivy.

And no qualms about buying help when needed.

 

[SarahT]

Thanks @GBBUDD I will bring in at home care first , if he sinks to the level of lifting, etc, which he will. then , most likely a care home.

These meetings I have been going to , I have gathered a lot of data about at home care groups, and care homes.

One thing I won't do is lose what is left of my time struggling to care for him. At this time, eats, drinks, bathroom ok. Memory beyond sucks, ground hog day, almost every minute. It is cyclic, one day as good as it can be, next day sucks

I have two good friends, one a neighbor, one lives in our above garage room, both help out be watching over him so I can leave.

60 a hour was one of the prices mentioned. For xx hours you need help.

Also cameras, alarms, etc.

You have a smart plan. For my ill family member, whose illness is physical, not memory, we don't need skilled nursing, just basic help with bathing, dressing, transferring, as I am barely able to do the lifting assistance he now needs for all of those. I interviewed 6 agencies (Florida is less expensive - they are $25-40/ hr) that would deal with all the personnel issues (hiring, scheduling, payroll and taxes, back-up for sick days) and it's working out well. Interviewing different agencies was very helpful.

 

[addy1]

We had 6 hrs help advanced to 8 then 12 hrs help for his mom with alzheimers in Florida. We went down every 6 weeks to check care etc.

She stayed at home until the end, same with his dad 3 weeks later.

Yes cheap, but they stole things when his dad was failing. Registered help.

Just be careful.

 

[SarahT]

Great advice. We have a live-in house mate there who isn't a care giver, but is a friend/ watch over person and I'm there every day.

 

[Tula]

I was feeling a little overwhelmed the other day. This summer was a wake-up call that my parents are officially old. They are far away. After being there for 3 weeks, I've been looking at my yard and ponds with new eyes. I am dang close to 60 and although I try to stay strong and healthy, I know our time is coming. THEN I look at what I've done to my yard over the years - basically taking a yard that I could pay someone to easily maintain - and turned it into something that takes constant maintenance. Operation Age In Place / Project Streamline the Yard is in the works. I have sort of adopted the "let the lilies go" philosophy too.
Life brings us some tough challenges, that is for sure. I am glad you have your beautiful ponds and wonderful pups to keep you at peace and keep you smiling!!!!

I completely understand your situation and concerns.

Hubby and I adore gardening and loved the pond and bog....our whole yard is filled with gardens. We also have a pool.

Big life changes for us when my elderly mother moved from her home of 50 years out of state, to near by us. Then my career oriented daughter decided to have a baby on her own during covid....so voila, our darling three year old granddaughter.

At first I thought I was limping along ok, then started to realize I wasn't keeping up with the pond and bog as I needed to. First to go was the bog, but kept the pond. A year later I was so fortunate to find a good home for our four adult koi so bye bye koi. Kept the pond for a year without fish but although, the lilies were gorgeous, it was just so much work ........the scale of enjoyment verses work, had tipped

We learned yesterday mother's name has come up for a lovely apartment in the retirement center.....but I seriously doubt she'll take it Oh well, I'm trying to focus on what I can control.

I still enjoy our gardens, but we've put in a lot of natives, which has helped.

 

[GBBUDD]

At times life seems rough but then you realize it can and often is worse for someone else.
I have never been one for the pirates chest bubbler. Or the floating dog and diving bell helmet in my aquariums. SO the artificial stuff has never caught my eye but this year I have come across artificial grass that even to my eye is hard to tell from the real thing.

I bought my first piece but is not what I was looking for. I have a sample of the good stuff. This will hopefully cut back on weeding and maintenance.
I have also begun to think what can be planted and just let go.
Lotus is probably going to take over the bog. Going to rip out everything and see how lotus will do.
Starting to realize the simple tasks I have done in the past are now exercises on what work arounds are needed.
That said i am a long way from calling it quits on the pond. I hope, I'm the kinda guy who needs something to work on. Can't sit still for very long.
Got to sell the wife on exchange of services and make a finish space in the basement. I like that idea addy but the Mrs doesn't like people she doesn't know in her house. I keep telling her it's simple to evict . I have room for at least 10 bodies in the cistern . Right next to her spot.

 

[bagsmom]

You are still young, @GBBUDD - but another 20 some years down the road, I bet you will be like my Dad! He LOVES his outdoor projects and his living things -- fish, bonsai trees, and assorted other plants! He is smart and has a lot of practical know-how. He can do almost anything but at 84, the body isn't cooperating with his ambitions. He keeps on keepin' on, though!

 

[addy1]

Geez new show buried in the cistern!

Carolyn has her private space, totally separate from our house. She does use the laundry.

So not living in our space, she does what she wants. We chat about what part of yard we tackle or not.

But if I need her to she will come down and sit with the kids while Mr m naps.

He does get really confused on certain days. We don't leave him on his own.

Body still does what i want, with limits.

I have never been able to sit still.

Our grass is grass plus weeds, good enough for our needs. No artifical for us. And way too much grass.

Agree @GBBUDD there is always someone worse off. We could our blessings.

At times life seems rough but then you realize it can and often is worse for someone else.
I have never been one for the pirates chest bubbler. Or the floating dog and diving bell helmet in my aquariums. SO the artificial stuff has never caught my eye but this year I have come across artificial grass that even to my eye is hard to tell from the real thing.

I bought my first piece but is not what I was looking for. I have a sample of the good stuff. This will hopefully cut back on weeding and maintenance.
I have also begun to think what can be planted and just let go.
Lotus is probably going to take over the bog. Going to rip out everything and see how lotus will do.
Starting to realize the simple tasks I have done in the past are now exercises on what work arounds are needed.
That said i am a long way from calling it quits on the pond. I hope, I'm the kinda guy who needs something to work on. Can't sit still for very long.
Got to sell the wife on exchange of services and make a finish space in the basement. I like that idea addy but the Mrs doesn't like people she doesn't know in her house. I keep telling her it's simple to evict . I have room for at least 10 bodies in the cistern . Right next to her spot.