Why do people ask for help, then don't listen.....don't learn?

[tbendl]

And how, exactly, does one do that?

I don't really know. But I'm kind of an @hole so...

 

[Mike in Vermont]

Not a bad idea -- kinda like parents talking to teenagers, but in reverse......"Huh? What did you say, Mom? Oh, sorry, I had you set to 'ignore.'"

Hopefully, you've learned about "advice etiquette," LOL! Looks like you're pretty new here, but from talking to my Hubby, I realize this is a universal people-issue, not unique to the GPF. Or were you referring to Dieselplower's magnetic personality?

My post wasn't aimed at anyone in particular. This thread will help me when I update my "problem with my pond" thread. This will probably happen within a week.
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On a side note, from a noobs prospective, I feel that some of us have trouble understanding advice because some of us don't know the basics. An example would be, if I don't know what PH, dissolved oxygen, and many other terms used while recieving advice, It's hard to apply them to the answers given here, that will provide the solution. These are thing I will learn in time. Maybe even make dieselplower proud one day.
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Don't get me wrong. I like this place, I was just adding my 2 cents, from a noobs point of view.

 

[Lisak1]

On a side note, from a noobs prospective, I feel that some of us have trouble understanding advice because some of us don't know the basics

Agreed - I think it can be overwhelming to ask a question and A. get advice filled with ideas and terms you don't know or understand, and B. conflicting advice. I guess that's when it becomes the posters responsibility to do some background work. This forum is filled with tons of information - I've spent many many hours searching and reading and learning. So many smart people here with lots of experience to share. It's a great winter time activity!

 

[Mmathis]

So true @Mike in Vermont ! Here, I don't mind asking questions (and I laugh and feel a little embarrassed when I go back and read some of my first posts.....and I still consider myself a newbie!), but on some forums I feel absolutely intimidated. I've posted questions before (not here) that never got answered -- or worse, the other posters hijacked the thread, never addressing my question.....

And I feel sooooo bad for a newbie [who is obviously a newbie] when they get answers that are so over their experience level -- and I see this a lot. Someone asks [for example -- made up question] how often they should feed their fish, and immediately posters start discussing and recommending this or that filtration system, using abbreviations that even I've never heard of, getting into equipment that would cost a fortune as an initial outlay, and telling the poor newbie that his fish will die if kept in a [God forbid!] Garden Pond. And the poor newbie poster with only 2 or 3 small goldfish in a 200 gal preform......just wants to know how much to feed them! That sure would turn people off to such an enjoyable hobby if they think you have to be rich, super intelligent, with 5 acres of land to enjoy a fish pond.

But mainly the reason I started this thread was to address the ones who post saying their fish are dying......what to do about it......giving us very little information about their pond, their experience level..... Then we find out they have 5 koi in a 200 gal pond "that they've had for 5 years -- that have done fine until now," just added 3 more, etc. And we usually have to drag that info out of them.

.....or the ones who decided to dig a pond without doing ANY type of research. They filled it with untreated tap water yesterday, added 2 dozen koi this morning, and now all of their fish are floating.....

And when we try to explain about cycling, testing water, quarantine, water conditoners, fish loads......and recommend things they can do......they want to give us all kinds of reasons why what we're saying isn't the case for them. They get defensive when we continue to ask questions, even when we explain that we can't help them unless we know & understand all the variables. They don't want to understand that fish grow, producing more waste products; that they might be overstocked for their filtration system; that clear water doesn't mean quality water and on and on. But the ones that I really don't understand are the ones who see their fish as "things," and not as living creatures that depend on us for their care.

Sorry, just ranting & venting again......

 

[Mike in Vermont]

I appreciate you explaining this in further detail.

 

[Mmathis]

I appreciate you explaining this in further detail.

Is that sarcasm Just kidding, Mike! When I get on a rant, it's hard to keep it in check -- but talking about it helps me feel better to get the feelings out there, so I appreciate your listening, errrr, reading!

 

[HARO]

That's OK, TM. Just lie back on the comfy couch and tell the Pond Doctor all about it!
John
That's almost exactly the same line that got me banned for life from the Aquascape site!

 

[j.w]

 

[HARO]

ROFLMAO!!! Thanks, j.w., you just made my day!!
John

 

[Lisaebetten]

I've noticed you just can't resist me! Can't blame you. Women love me.

Now that's what I like, stuff that makes me smile!

 

[JohnHuff]

Now that's what I like, stuff that makes me smile!

Your avatar, which is of you kissing an ass, makes me smile!

 

[Lisaebetten]

Me Too!! Thats why I keep it!!!! I'm not to proud to kiss an donkey!!! Actually my boys and I where driving some back roads up north in Michigan and we came across a pasture full of donkeys. I had never seen so many in one place! We stopped to look and this one was the only one to come check us out! It actually was more interested in the kids but I forced him to pose for a picture!

 

[addy1]

That's OK, TM. Just lie back on the comfy couch and tell the Pond Doctor all about it!
John
That's almost exactly the same line that got me banned for life from the Aquascape site!

You forgot to add pour a nice cup of wine, or spirit of choice and sip as you tell the Pond Doctor all about it!

Banned for life! hummmmmmmmmmmm well don't see a reason with that line, they must have been a touchy place.

 

[Dave 54]

In reality John the question should be this, should the fish shop owner be responsible for suggesting a person read up on their new fish hobby?.
Or should it be the resposability of the person buying the fish ?
Because all we do is damage control true?

Dave

 

[dieselplower]

In reality John the question should be this, should the fish shop owner be responsible for suggesting a person read up on their new fish hobby?.
Or should it be the resposability of the person buying the fish ?
Because all we do is damage control true?

Dave

A good question Dave and I ask another... Does the 17 year old making $7.75 an hour running the fish department have time to do so when they have 3 customers waiting?