ooooooh, now I have bench envy...
There's a story behind that bench (isn't there always?). I saw it while searching Facebook Marketplace for something else and contacted the seller. Didn't hear back for a week, so I assumed it had been sold. But he finally did get back to me. The price was way beyond my reach (1500 shekels or about $400), so that was that. But then he came back with "how much are you willing to pay."
"Look," I said, "I don't try to bargain with artists for their artwork. It's gorgeous and you'll get the full price from someone with deeper pockets."
To which he said, "Well, it's not actually my work. It used to be at my parents' house and when they moved, they had not place for it. And to be honest, the space it's taking up is almost worth the value of the bench to me. Would 750 shekels work?"
So we agreed on that price (a bit over $200) and I borrowed His Honor the Chef's fancy hybrid car, as we determined that it was too big to fit in my little offroader. The seller also gave me a bunch of nice rocks, and called his brother and a friend over to help load the bench into the car. The thing is massive! It's made of a single stump of an olive tree, and took three of these guys (with me using tiedowns as winches) to get it most of the way into the car. They threw in the log that's standing upright to the right of the bench, plus part of the axel of an old millstone that will make a great lamp base.
So I drove home with a front seat full of rocks and half an olive tree sticking out the rear end of the car. As one does.
But then, once I got it home, what now? I couldn't leave it sticking out of the trunk all night, so I on my way home I had put in a call to a local guy who once helped me transport a couch and we agreed on a price for him to come and help me shift the bench from my car into our yard. But I still needed to somehow move it from the Ioniq to my Vitara, so I could get it down the cliff into the vacant lot adjacent to our yard. I figured it wouldn't matter if it was mostly sticking out, as the trip was less than 400 meters. But how to move it?
As I contemplated this puzzle, my neighbor came up the stairs. "Need help?" he asked.
So it came about that the two of us were struggling to lift that behemah out of the back of the car, and get at least part of it leaning on the bumper of the Vitara. We'd got it part way, when my neighbor's cousin came by on her daily run. "Need help?" she asked.
Together, we got the thing loaded and tied down enough for the trip down the cliff, at which point the mover guy pulled up. And the result, you see here!