If you empty the container, reshape it, then surround it with soil, rocks, a wooden frame or whatever for support, it may prevent it from bulging out.
When penetrating any container, the best leak free method is to use a bulkhead fitting. They come with either slip (glue) connections or are threaded. There are two halves that screw together sandwiching the wall of your container and have a gasket that seals the joint. I reccomend the threaded type for a less permanent pipe connection.
I advise not using the popular corregated pond hose. It's weak and will fail very quickly. If you need flexible hose, use flex pvc. It's totally compatible with all standard PVC fittings, primer and glue. You won't have any compatibility or connection problems.
There is another hose that some members here use that seems to be ok. It's the corregated sump pump hose. But, the flex PVC is the ultimate best.
If you do use any of the corrugated hoses, it's important to have the proper hose adapters (hose barbs). They screw into a PVC female adapter and have graduated steps to fit multiple hose sizes. A hose clamp holds them in place.
I'm not sure what you are saying in the last paragraph.
But, if you use a threaded bulkhead fitting through the container wall, you can thread any pvc pipe into it from the inside of the container. That pipe can have the holes or slits for your diffuser which then gets covered with the gravel.
Any more questions, don't hesitate to ask.
Hope this helps