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My little winter wonderland. I resisted getting a hot tub (too bougie) for a long time, but I'm glad we have it now. Especially after this week.
I have 95 y/o grandparents that live about 30 min. from me and are fiercely independent despite Papa being practically deaf and having beat cancer 3 times and Nana having macular degeneration so she can barely see. Between the two of them, they have one working set of ears and eyes.
They refuse anything that could carry even a hint of "help." So I usually leave that to my Dad who is less diplomatic and will just steamroll in there and do things for them when it gets really bad.
Well, he's in Arizona for the winter. And the wife was traveling for work this week. So just me and the 4 y/o stuck in a snow storm. School canceled all week. 14º every night for days. And then Nana and Papa's power goes out. The only way we even know it happened is because my dad gets outage alerts for their address. They didn't even call! Not sure if it's because the landlines were down, they refuse to use cell phones, or they really, truly thought everything was fine.
But when I finally got to them 2 days later, it was 45º in the house and Nana was dressed like an alpine climber. The only thing missing from her suit was a pair of crampons. Her first words to me were, "What are you doing here in this weather? We're fine."
They have a small backup generator... but no gas. And an emergency propane heater... but no propane. "Ahh, we don't need 'em," says Papa. "We just go to bed when it gets too cold."
"Ok, good plan. But can I at least set up the generator while I'm here."
"Oh... I guess so. But we don't have any gas."
So I go borrow a 5 gallon can from a neighbor who tells me they siphoned it out of their RV last Spring and added stabilizer so it should be good. Ok, we'll cross our fingers and hope for the best. Of course, generator won't start. And I'm outside...in the dark...in 15º trying to troubleshoot it to no avail. And I need to get home because the kid is with my in-laws who are on call to take MIL's brother with stage 4 cancer to the hospital frequently.
I brought a 20# tank of propane and set them up with their emergency heater and call it a night.
On my way to the door, Nana—who has eaten and drank NOTHING all day because she's been running around taking orders from Papa who has a hard time getting around—collapses and hits her head on the kitchen counter. The only reason she wasn't hurt worse is because I was standing right there and caught her on the way down.
So I'm sitting on the floor with her in my arms trying to ask her questions and give her directions and the only thing she seems capable of saying is, "I'm fine." Meanwhile, Papa—who I've never seen display so much as an ounce of emotion—is stuck in his chair a few feet away hyperventilating and crying. Looked like he was about to have a heart attack. I think he thought she was dead.
So I did what I'm sure they both wanted least and called 911.
Couldn't believe how fast they got there considering the weather. Something like 10 people come through the door less than 10 minutes later. The whole street was lit up with ambulance, fire truck, police cars, etc.
Of course, by the time they arrive, she's gotten up into a chair against the dispatcher's orders and Papa has calmed down. She refuses all emergency service and promises everyone she'll eat/drink something.
I think it probably
was the lack of food/water, but it didn't dawn on me til the next morning she might have had a mini-stroke. Wouldn't matter if she did. She was with it enough to politely tell everyone to leave her the hell alone.
I pack up the generator with me and get home at 10pm. Decide to take one last look at it in the garage before bed. Low oil. I fill it up and the f***in' thing starts on the first pull.
Next day, I take the kid to a dr. appt. and then it's back to Nana and Papa's house to get the generator running and hooked up to their furnace, refrigerator, and phone so we can communicate. I have the Subaru loaded with tools and materials. I have a plan to be in and out of there in less than an hour.
- Disconnect furnace lead from house power and install heavy duty appliance cord.
- Convert furnace junction box to receptacle.
- Plug furnace into heavy duty extension cord from generator while power is out and into receptacle when power is on.
Simple and safe for them and utility workers. I even have a plan to put the generator on the deck with a make-shift shelter so it can be refueled with a few steps. Extension cord junctions can be made inside so they can switch appliances without leaving their table.
Of course, I get there and Papa—the former engineer—loves my idea. Except he's been thinking about this for a long time and would like me to put the generator under the deck (requiring him to walk all the way around the house and down very icy steps) and the furnace switching needs to all be done in metal boxes in the wall. Oh, and we need to make sure the boxes are set at the proper depth so that when the wall is finished, the faceplates fit properly. You know. For resale value.
THE INSIDE OF THE FURNACE ROOM...THE WALL THAT HE BUILT... IN 1955...AND HAS BEEN UNFINISHED EVER SINCE. DON'T WORRY. HE'S GOING TO GET TO THAT ANY DAY NOW.
In my head, I am shaking him by the shirt collar and shouting, "IT'S 15º AND YOUR WIFE COLLAPSED LAST NIGHT YOU FOOL! THIS IS A F***ING EMERGENCY!"
I begged him to at least let me put the generator on the deck. No dice. So I do as he wishes and spend 6 hours cutting conduit with a hacksaw and using his bin of fittings from the 80s to make it all work. While I'm working, I notice a small puddle of water on the floor (foreshadowing...)
Oh, I should mention—I talk to Papa by opening my laptop to a fullscreen text editor and typing for him to read and respond verbally. I'm a fast typer, but it's awfully slow compared to conversation.
I get home at 10pm again, drink a beer, and collapse into bed. My nice warm bed. That my grandparents could be sleeping in right now but I'm pretty sure they're bound and determined to die in theirs. I can respect that, I guess. At least their furnace is running now.
Power comes on the next day, and Papa calls on the landline to tell me I was right. Generator ran out of fuel and he can't get down the steps. But not to worry, the power is on and we can revisit the plan in the Spring (foreshadowing...)
Fast forward to yesterday. Kid and I pick wife up at airport at 5pm to welcome her home from a 5-day biz trip and 10 min. after we get home, Dad texts to tell me Nana and Papa's power is out again.
MOTHER F***ER!
Nice to see ya for 10 min Jess. I'm headed to Beaverton now.
On the drive over, I come up with 2 plans.
Plan A is to brow beat Papa into submission and let me put the generator on the deck. If that doesn't work, Plan B is tell them I want to take them to McDonalds since they've had such a rough couple days, put em' in the car with the child locks on, drive them to our place, and handcuff them to the dining room table.
Plan A works.
I get the generator, shelter, and extension cord junctions set up and go to the basement to switch power sources. The little puddle I noticed the other day is now a lake that has soaked all their storage boxes and migrated halfway across the basement. I couldn't feel more defeated (foreshadowing...)
I use all the towels in the house to soak up the mess. There isn't enough and I have to wring them out in the shower over and over to reuse.
Turns out a downspout next to a window well is plugged and all the rain and snow melt is making a mini swimming pool in the window well. I can't troubleshoot the downspout tonight, so I take a shovel and dig a little trench for the water to get away from the foundation.
Now I'm cold AND muddy. I make one last trip inside to pack up my tools, give hugs, and say good night.
House power is back on.
To be continued.
