I absolutely agree with needing a balance! I just find it so funny that there are people, such as yourself, who have had such negative experiences with a gravel covered pond bottom. In the 18 years I've had ponds (one pond back in IL, and this one in NC) I've never experienced an excessive build up of 'muck' on my gravel. It's not like I do anything special to it. My fish do really like to root around in the gravel, though, so perhaps they either eat what's there before it can accumulate, or they stir it up enough that the filters take care of it. ???? I dunno. But I was just in there the other day, picking up fists full of gravel & tossing it back up on the shelves where the fish had 'rearranged'. No gunk, just piles of gravel.
Anyway - welcome to the forum! Best thing about ponds & gardens is that they only have to please the person who owns them! Wouldn't it be boring if they were all the same?