I wish I could shout; I'm Back!
Sorry, but that's not quite the case.
Several months before I became a member I had had a serious heart attack. Doctor told me to exercise, so I figured I should dig up my garden a bit. That makes more sense than walking to me. And that worked! I loved doing it as I think you remember from my enthusiasm. I was now also uninsured, jobless and quickly running out of money after the operation which I had to pay for myself. Than we got flooded big time, and I was honestly devastated. I was soo upset, I still get tears in my eyes now thinking about it. I loved that pond soo much. But at that very same time I also started to feel bad again. And especially the week before and after the flood. Every day in the afternoon I felt as if I was gonna die. But I did not have enough money anymore to go to the hospital. I did find a local clinic. And I got things slightly under control. At that time, my wife was up-country. I remember I called her and said; Sweety, I need a calm life. Can I sell the house and move to the country side? I just want quiet and peace. She agreed. She came back a few days later and I managed to sell the house in less than a week and moved to our new land in the north just a week after that.
Man, did I start to feel good again!. Me and my wife started to build a new house with the only help being her alcoholic neighbour who is also 80% deaf from working at the artillery in the Thai army. So this became a bit of a site-show at times. But hey, considering all, I think it is pretty amazing that we got as far as we got. I had a house with 2 bedrooms, a living room a kitchen and a bathroom. And than I found her mom was stealing money from me. At first I tried to ignore it. But I can not ignore this. And really, I can not live next to people who steal from me. Especially after all I had done for them. I told my wife I was gonna leave because I was worry I would end up in the news paper one day. We left everything behind and her, my boy and me left everything behind and just start all over again. That is now 9 months ago. We are struggling a lot, but it is ok. We are together. And never in my wildest dreams I would have imagined that she would stand by me unconditionally through all this. She is a superstar.
Not difficult to imagine that I got depressed, Did not help my case. But now, I am starting to see a little bit light again. I always said to myself that I wanted to come back here on the forum and show you my new pond. Slight problem. There is no pond. There is no house in fact. But! I have reasons to believe that this may change in the near future. And when I have a garden again I am going to make it nice again. But my heart attack also screwed up my brain. So be prepared! I am trying very hard to come back, not sure yet if I will manage. But when I am back I will aften come here for advise. I am going to need help from you guys.
Don't ask me why I write this. I have no idea. But I see the forum emails coming by every time. And I have always known that I need to come back here whenever the time is right. This is truly the first time I had the balls to log-in. And the reason for that is very simple. I had never before received such a warm welcome on a forum as I have received from you guys. I miss this forum more than I can explain. But I was not up to it. I thought I was, but while writing I see that it is not that easy.
Sorry for all this emotional rambling. But after my reception here followed by a complete absence without ever giving a reason, I figured I owed an explanation.
Like I said; I think I may be moving to a small house with a garden again in 1-2 months. Not sure, but there is hope. I hope I will be back soon and talk about fish ponds again. No promises. Sorry.
Hope to see you all soon.
Bye for now.
Joost (Joey)
